Okay, I am DESPERATE to know which conceit connects all these characters. Are there folks getting married, like in Love, Actually? Do they live in the same charming Baltimore neighborhood from He's Just That Not Into You, which maybe, secretly, emits gamma rays that cause people to have terrible romantic lives? Seriously, you guys, I need to know! Because there cannot possibly be anything else remotely interesting about this:
I am, for reasons I will not disclose here, congenitally incapable of attending movies that include Ashton Kutcher, so I won't be able to find out by watching this movie. Will someone tell me next February? Please?