Dear Perez Hilton,
The Duke of Buckingham is not the arch-nemesis to Athos, Porthos, Aramis and d'Artagnan. That would be the Comte de Rochefort. That said, Orlando Bloom is a relatively decently choice to play a guy who is sufficiently blinded by love and too weak to walk away from it that he endangers entire governments. I've never particularly bought Bloom as an action hero--he's far too sensitive, and there's a reason why it made sense for Elizabeth Swann to become the Pirate King. But as a good, failed man, Bloom might actually find more depth, and more roles that suit his particular talents. And as for you, Perez, stick to Lindsay Lohan. Alexandre Dumas was too big, on life and the page, to fit on your blog.
Love,
Alyssa