"Homie, I'm in the drop with the AC on/That's why the, streets embrace me dawg, I'm so cool!" - Jay-Z on Scarface's "Guess Who's Back."
Maybe that was true in 2002. Eight years and some change later, Hov rightfully deserves to have his coolness called into question.
Babylon Sista has already covered Betty White's highly-anticipated - and ultimately disappointing - turn as host of "Saturday Night Live." More disappointing to me, however, was Jay-Z's lukewarm stage effort that night.
I know Jay takes great pride in the improvements he's made to his live shows. And as someone who really saw the worm turn during his "Unplugged" set in 2001, I know he deserves a round of applause for putting in the necessary work.
But times have changed. Jay has retired from hip-hop, spent some time in the corporate boardroom, unretired and really gave some merit to those MJ comparisons (Jackson with Bad and Jordan with the Washington Wizards) with a really mediocre comeback in Kingdom Come.
At the time, I thought it was a mere hiccup. I reasoned that any great artist or performer will come up with a dud in the course of a productive career.
But like with Jackson and Jordan I might have been merely deluding myself ... Jay-Z is old, man. And not Betty White old.
Like, post-In Square Circle Stevie Wonder old.
The first set was decent enough, with a medley of songs including "P.S.A." and "99 Problems" off the divine Black Album. I could have lived without "Empire State of Mind" but I understand its inclusion (It's THE song of the past year - for better or worse - and Jay was performing in NY, yada yada yada) and the brief appearance of RocNation singer Bridget Kelly made it worth sitting through.
But can we talk about "Young Forever"?
I truly can't fathom Jay-Z recording this song in a studio somewhere, listening to the finished product and thinking that, 'hey, that's actually alright." Let alone, "wow, that could be a hit!"
I don't care that he dedicated the performance to "the most incredible Betty White": Jay-Z was bad, Mr. Hudson was worse, and the song itself is prom night-quality pablum.
And of course, I never saw this coming.
If Jigga was alive, he never would have allowed that song to happen. Can you imagine Shawn Carter giving the thumbs-up to "Young Forever"? Blueprint-era Hov would have laughed that track out of his studio session.
But not anymore. And that's when you know it's near the end for your favorite artists.
It happened when K-Ci & JoJo released It's Real. After Share My World, Mary J. Blige ceased being remotely interesting. Too Short ... oh, hell. Too Short never recorded anything worth listening to.
You get my point.
Anyway, four years ago, I wrote this: "Jay-Z is cool. Really cool. Probably cooler than Miles Davis, who might have invented the concept of being cool in the early 1950s."
Them days are over. The King might as well be dead.
Because really, no one can be young forever.